The Four Seasons* really did sum it up best: ‘Oh what a night – late March back at The Naffies’ ....If you don’t get that reference, please ask your mum.
We must admit, this is probably the hardest review we’ve ever written. That’s for one reason and one reason only: we’re not stuck for things to say but overwhelmed by things TO SAY. For those who attended, you’ll understand our struggle in summarising such a spectacular mish-mash of uniting over pizza and prosecco whilst celebrating cinema in a very unique manner. For those who didn’t… well, we almost feel like you don’t deserve to know. However, because we SOLD OUT and want to rub in what a great time we had, here’s our review anyway.
“Make love to the camera!” echoed into an act of flashing and posing. No, this wasn’t a painful memory of Christian Grey parading his unclothed body around again, but our VERY OWN PAPARAZZI!
It’s fair to say we went all out from the very start:
Gaffa-taped photo wall
Fizz on arrival
Trip-hazard red carpet
The troops turned up dressed to the nines, tens and elevens - suited and booted in the finest of garments. No expense was spared for this wonderful occasion, with our very own Rob Ellis even personally styled in a one-of-a-kind Primarni suit.
We all smiled and stood a little taller as Manchester watched on in a pure state of confusion. Ego-boost completed, we headed into Lock 91 feeling satisfied to have a new profile picture under our belts.
[We’d like to give a huge shout out to Andy Russell Photography and Jules (@MancJules) for making up our camera squad. If you haven’t had a chance to check out the pictures yet, be sure to head over to our social media channels NOW.]
After giving the squad some time to get acquainted and debate their favourite nominees for the evening, it was time for pizza! Now, we’re not sure if you’ve ever seen a crowd of 50 adults clambering towards a mountain of pizza, but there’s something quite animalistic about it. Watching on reminded us of the moment in The Lion King where the hyenas are all tearing into their dinner with a sense of pure delight… but dressed in suits. It was truly quite beautiful, in an odd way.
[Shoutout to Crazy Pedros for satisfying all our bellies!]
Hanger diminished, we entered the awards ceremony with a sense of intrigue (and a small nagging feeling that we’d eaten too much). Scott began by introducing FoodnFilm - the concept and all that we have achieved over the last year - before humbly reminding us why we had all come together: to raise money for Forever Manchester. And that was it; the inaugural Naffies were underway.
…Ok, so at this point we should probably warn you that there may be spoilers. However, despite Kaspars and Charlie from WhatMarketing doing an AWESOME JOB on the filming (THANK YOU GUYS), the BBC have still refused to acknowledge us as an official ceremony and will not be broadcasting it this award season. However, you can catch the highlights and discover the winners below…
1. BEST MOVIE
Blade Runner: 2049
And the winner was…. LOGAN!
The crowd went wild and because Hugh had sadly double booked himself (we hear he was genuinely gutted and did try get out of his nan’s birthday party for us), the wonderful Jazz Hanley came to accept the award on his behalf.
2. RISING STAR
And the winner was… BEN WILD!
It wouldn’t be an awards ceremony without a live stream so, despite Ben being all the way in Thailand with the awesome WhatMarketing, he still managed to accept his award which was, ya’know, more than Hugh did.
3. BEST ACTING
And the winner was… GARY OLDMAN!
He was awesome in the Darkest Hour as Churchill. His performance was that good that we couldn’t even think of a funnier joke that trying to say that he was wise because he was an Old-Man.
Again, our link to Hollywood – Jazz Hanley – came to collect the award on “Gazza’s” behalf.
4. BEST NETWORKER
And the winner was… LIZ FOX!
Totally deserved. Marketing Meets has barely begun and it’s already a roaring success!
5. BEST SOUNDTRACK
And the winner was… not even a surprise. Of course, it was Guardians of the Galaxy. Their song choices were impeccable! Again, susperstar Jazz Hanley comes to accept the award and the crowd are moved with a tear-jerking story of how the music shaped the movie (buzzing for GOTG13).
6. BEST DRESSED PEOPLE
Bharat Bhandari bought a tuxedo for the first time in his life and we can’t think of a better occasion… Oh wait, Liz may be reading this, so we better say something about it being good practice for the wedding! #BhandariFoxWedding
And Gemma. Wow, Gemma. Just look at her. She’s radiant.
7. NAFFIST SCENE
Space Milk (The Last Jedi)
Fassbender snogging Fassbender, which was frankly just disturbing (Alien: Covenant)
50 Shades Freed
And the winner was…. 50 Shades Freed.
Although it was supposed to be ‘naffist scene,’ we felt the WHOLE. DAMN. FILM deserved to make the shortlist and YOU (the lovely people at home) voted for it. Settled: finally, an award worthy of this trilogy.
8. BEST MOMENT
Roger as Wonder Woman
Rob 0 – 1 Tequila
And the winner was… Roger as Wonder Woman!
There’s nothing that man can’t do. Roger was a 7-foot vision in Heather’s costume and now he has #TheNaffie to prove it!
HALL OF FAME
Introduced into our Hall of Fame for all their hard work, ongoing support and non-stop movie love were:
We kept this sneaky little award up our sleeve, but there may be more entries to our #HallOfFame ... we guess you'll just have to watch this space!
And, with that done, the awards were over, everyone was sobering up and our bellies hurt from laughter (or perhaps it was still because we ate too much pizza). However, Vivid were there to the rescue. It wouldn’t be a proper awards night without an after party!
So, last but not least (no really, the night didn’t stop there), we headed over to Vivid. Those creative lot really know how to throw a party. Celebrity friend of the group, James Van Der Beeke presented Spin to Win; Matt Bird showed us all that he can’t down a drink (losing his team a very competitive round of flip cup) and there was even a flamingo to pose with.
To summarise, we woke up with sore heads, but having done a good thing for charity and raised a glass or three to a magnificent year of cinema. However, we’d like to leave you with John Knott’s summary of the night which, if he submitted it half an hour earlier, could’ve saved us writing this whole thing...
Oh, and talking of money, just going to casually announce that we raised a whopping £1110 for Forever Manchester!!! No big deal (just kidding – it’s huge, but we are trying to play it cool).
And, like Naffies speeches that go on and on and on, we’ve just realised we so aren’t done yet....
SPONSORS: THANK YOU!
Delphinium Business Coaching, We are Gntlmen, Marketing Meets, BCA Accountants, Business Sorority, Agents Of, There Be Giants, KlicknTap, Vivid, The Apprentice Academy, BLM Law, Indiespring and Kandi Cosmetics.
RAFFLE: THANK YOU!
John Shinnick Photography, Revolucion de Cuba, Laundrette, Sweet Mandarin, Beastro, Paul Grogan, Gemma Rolstone (Delphinium Business Coaching), Ben Wild, Your Support Team Ltd, Mark Bratt Travel, Matt Bird (We are Gntlmen) and Whistlepunks.
CHERYL: THANK YOU!
For those of you that don’t know Cheryl, you’re missing out. Everyone needs a slice of the bubbliest, most-organised event planner in town. We are so grateful that Cheryl came on board to help us raise over £1000 for Forever Manchester and pull off the greatest awards ceremony in town (in our opinion, at least)!
Oh, and we mustn’t forget to thank our agent. Isn’t that right John Shinnick?